I Will Never Grow Old Again

I have reached the age where I will never again grow any older.

29.

This is the age I will be for the rest of my life, should anyone ever ask.

Like all holidays that revolve around giving a personal individual attention (i.e. Valentine's Day, Administrative Professional's Day, etc.), I tend to manage my expectations about my birthday. If anyone remembers and actually wishes me a happy birthday, I'm pretty happy.

I really felt the birthday love this year, and was inundated with well wishes on Twitter and Facebook, text, phone, email, etc. It was really quite nice, and I did get caught up in it, despite myself... even though a certain friend of mine named Esteban* said that like Don Draper told Peggy, you have to stop making a big deal about your birthday after 26. 

*Not his real name. Though I've always WISHED I had a friend named Esteban.

Now I'd like to share with you the highlights of my birthday:

On the Friday before my birthday, my boss sent me a text saying there was a client emergency and he needed me in a meeting at 2. So I'm sitting around waiting for a meeting when a shrill cry comes out of the office hallways, screaming "Where's Maria?! Where's Maria?!"

Who was it? My fairy godfather.

My coworkers hired a singing birthday-gram - a fat man in a white tutu who brought me balloons and a "crown" as he sang and danced for me and dragged me around the office since he was told that I love being a princess.

Thanks, coworkers.

The smile that says: Is this really happening?

The face that says: Oh God, this really IS happening to me.

I was trying to be a good sport, but you could see the look of abject HORROR on my face.

See, I like being the center of attention sometimes, but I was, for whatever reason, reluctant to be lead around by a dancing fairy man with a broken wing, back hair tufting out of his leotard and B.O. that smelled of chicken soup, day-old cigarettes and whiskey.

At least some of my balloons were pretty. (from one of my good friends)

My birthday crown

Now onto THE PRESENTS!! Some of them were sweet, some of them were random (like the 2012 page-a-day calendar a friend got me. Random), some of them were returned, and all of them made me smile, in one way or another.

I get made fun of a lot because I put a lot of thought into the greeting cards I send. Most people claim they just pick up a card that says what it basically needs to and then check out, but not me. I like to get specialty cards and then like to write really thoughtful messages in them. My crowning achievement was when my friend called me to tell her that my words had moved her to tears in the card I sent her congratulating her on her engagement. SCORE!

Maybe because I'm a writer, or because of my lifelong love affair with words, but I love getting cards, and even though I know Facebook is the laziest way of saying Happy Birthday to someone, it still make me feel good. Because words have power, yada yada. So here are some of the cards that made me laugh, smile, go awwww, etc. Oh, and the presents too.

Because of my alabaster skin and "doll-like" features, my sister says I remind her of Snow White, so this card was kinda cute.

Because my coworkers know I LOVE PUNS!!

Tee Hee

I liked this for many reasons, but it was just nice to hear that I am considered the resident office therapist.

Because I really am.

And this card made me smile the most. I probably could've written his name, but I just want to keep this private for now.

HELLS TO THE YEAH I AM!

"Can you teach me some of those dance moves?" - Because I am constantly dancing in the office. It made me smile.

FAVORITE PRESENT:

This is a print from an artist called Greg Stones who makes a series called Zombies Hate. This one is "Zombies Hate Zip Lines" but others have included penguins, ninjas, etc. Check him out online HERE.

Finally, when I drink, I tend to become what is known among my friends as a Makeout Slut/Bandit/Queen. And of course, in today's digital age, none of that can go undocumented, so two friends gave me presents of a series of pictures of me making out with people on my birthday. This one was sent digitally, and the other one was even framed!

If you want to know, even though this one started chaste and tight-lipped, it ended up being a good kiss!

 

I had real hesitations about posting this photo, because it's so gross to see, but when I unwrapped this, I couldn't stop laughing. I looked at it, looked away, looked at it, looked away, and just kept laughing. The guy in the pic is actually a really good friend. That I make out with only very occasionally.

And that seemed to be the theme of my birthday. Non-stop laughter.

I couldn't ask for more.