My Own Little World

Late on Saturday afternoon I attended my former coworker's birthday/housewarming party (after a morning of getting called in to work for marketing emergencies!!!), and for a myriad of reasons I can't quite explain, I just wasn't in an overly talkative mood. I get like this sometimes. When I first joined my kettlebell gym, I was so so quiet. I just kinda stuck to myself, did my workout, and just smiled politely at everyone. Now, I'm like, little Ms. Chatterbox and the people I've become friends with always comment on how different I am than they thought I was.

When a new guy joined and just tried to friendly chat me up and I was my usual Polite But Slightly Standoffish Self, one of the the guys actually interjected and said, maybe to make excuses for what he perceived as my rudeness (maybe?) "Oh, just give Maria time. She's just like that at first, but soon enough she'll start talking your ear off." Which I can't even argue with.

But even with my friends, I'll get into a mood. And it's not a bad or sad mood. Like at all. It's a quiet mood. I'm just, off somewhere else, thinking about other things. 

As I was pouring myself a margarita, one of the girls turned to me and said, "You're not here right now are you? I can always tell. There are just times when I'll look at you, and I can tell you're just off in your own little world." Which I again, can't even argue with.

I like to think that this is the writer in me. Others might say the weirdo.

And now I've found THE PERFECT WAY To Wander Off Into Your Own Little World In Public But in a COMPLETELY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY.

You become a DJ.

This is me learning. 

PS, totally not related, but this dress was backless - my favorite!!

What's nice about being a DJ is that you get to spend a lot of time playing music, and I love all different kinds of music. And you're part of the party, but not really. People will stop by, chat with you, talk to you about music, or the party, request a song, and then wander back off to mingle with others. If you don't feel like talking, you can put your headphones on and pretend you need to totally focus on the music.

You get to play a long song, and then say things like, "OK, I've got 4 and half minutes. Gotta take a bathroom break! Be right back!" and feel really cool while your friends groan and make fun of you for thinking you're soooo important.

My friend Christan totally called me out on the fact that I was just taking over DJ-ing duties from my friend (who is an established, professional DJ) just because I was being anti-social, and she was right, but also, it was fun to play songs and seeing people respond to it.

I played songs that I wanted to hear, which are the songs that used to be hits a little while ago, but you forgot about. Like, I wouldn't play anything on the iTunes Top 100 currently, but maybe they were 6 months to a year or so ago.

And then really older stuff. Like, people are eating dessert? Why not play a longer, chill-er song like the Dr. Dog version of "Heart it Races"? Oh, people want to dance? Got some dive-bar classics right in the arsenal ("You Give Love A Bad Name," "Sweet Caroline," etc.). Night winding down? Play some Moby, "Porcelain," but not totally depress them and throw in the Gwen Stefani remix of "Southside."

At one point, I joked, after a friend telling me how much she liked the stuff I was playing, "That's because I am diabolical. I am controlling all your moods and you will dance when I say dance, and you will sway when I want you to!"

I was only half kidding. It's sorta true! You do get a read on the crowd. And it sorta is a power trip.

Hours later, clearly I got more confident here. Hair back, shades on. 

Turntable.fm has got nothing on the real thing.

My favorite part was when I "mixed" (is that a DJ term??!) together two songs: "Cupid's Chokehold" by Gym Class Heroes and "Black & Yellow" by Wiz Khalifa. My timing between the two songs was perfect and everyone was impressed!!*

*I'm a quick learner. They were less impressed, however, with my overexcitement at that particular performance, because I literally pumped my fist in the air and was like, so happy!!! My DJ Yoda told me I had to play things more cool, like, "Oh? You liked that? Cool." and then just mentally bank the compliment, but that is soooo not me.

My friend found THIS VIDEO and apparently, that's how happy I was.**

**I was NOT! Buuuuuuut, like I said, there is something very satisfying about playing music and not only having people like it, but mixing them together seamlessly. So Old Man DJ, I get it. I GET IT!

But then, in a startling twist of fate,*** I woke up the next morning and felt terrible!

***dramatic overstatement

I was just talking about how I never update my status anymore on Facebook, and I really haven't in months, but my Twitter compatriots were just NOT giving me enough feedback about my fainting spell today.

#ineedattention

Have you ever fainted?

I never had, even though, CONFESSION, I've always wanted to. And now that I have, I can tell you it's more annoying that anything else, because my confusion, dizziness, and the room is spinning feeling I had lasted for hours.

And there was no fainting couch.

I woke up this morning, and the room was spinning. And we've all had those mornings when you drink too much and that happens, but I had 1 margarita and 2 beers over the course of 12 hours, and was in no way even close to drunk. I didn't have the cotton-mouthed hangover feeling, so I just tried to shake it off and went to kettlebells.

DUMB!

After the party, we went to a local bar, and a friend was talking to me about how much stronger I am now. And she point-blanked asked me if it was because of my crush on my kettlebell instructor. I just laughed, and totally admitted it. Of course. I pushed myself so hard all these months because I was totally trying to impress him!

So this morning, when I'm doing 50 something burpees at warp speed, and I have my instructor tell me how awesome my form is, there is no way the spinning sensation in my head is gonna stop me.

Until it did.

I can't really describe what happened other than you're there and then you're not there. And unfortunately, even after I was back, my feeling of queasiness and room spinning never quite subsided.

And because I suffer from an overabundance of pride, I was more embarrassed and just tried to brush it off and continued my workout. Again, DUMB.

But when I got back home, I felt like I was gonna puke and it took me HOURS to feel like I was walking on solid ground and not at sea. Even now my head is not QUITE right, but obviously, I'm typing so I can't be that bad.

For those just tuning on, "the mati" is of course, the Greek term for the evil eye.

my bestie Stella went to see a performance of Much Ado About Nothing on the beach, which I totally would've gone to. Is it just me, but is every weekend of your summer completely double booked with fun plans?!

 

Honestly, it's pathetic how transparent I am.

I have GOT to work on being more dark and mysterious.