The Power of Suggestion

If you don't have Facebook, it may have escaped your attention that today's is Father's Day.

That is why I'm so thankful for all my friends who wake up on national holidays and update their status to inform everyone of the occasion. And then it catches on like wildfire and pretty soon, you have an entire newsfeed of people telling you what day it is and wishing you a happy holiday!

I'm telling you, this Facebook thing is amazing. It's really gonna catch soon, I know it.

In honor of Father's Day, I'd like a show of hands of who is going to work out their own daddy issues by either sleeping with or starting a fight with someone who completely ignores them and could give a shit about them. Male or Females can both play!!!

For me personally: it's both.

The highlight of my Father's Day had to be after dinner when we started roasting marshmallows over the fire pit to make s'mores and my dad had his legs crossed and one was sticking a little to close into the fire. Then, we all started smelling rubber and noticed his shoe was smoking!

That's the not the best part. The best part was when my Dad got really mad at my mother for not warning him that could happen. 

Later that evening, while signing into gchat, I see this:

And I got quite annoyed. I get it, Gmail wants me to start using their calling feature, but this seems a little intrusive. I didn't set this up as a personal reminder, so this was just them, intruding into my personal life and deciding that today would be an opportunity to get me to "connect" with a perceived loved one - through THEIR technology.

What if I had already called him?! (I hadn't)

What if my dad was dead?! (He's not)

What if I hated my father?! (I don't)

It's a little of the same way I feel after I check out at the grocery store and what used to be a simple interaction has now become something of a lifestyle survey:

Do I want cash back? (Unless I'm going to get my nails done and need to tip, NO.)

Do I want to make a donation? (If you really want to know, not really!)

Is this amount OK? (Does it matter? What would you do if I said No? Negotiate?)

What is your email address? (I already get your emails.)

Do you want it all on one card? (Why are you complicating this?!)

I think if these things are going to make these suggestions of what we should do, I think they should be a little bit more descriptive. It's like, if you want to act like you know me, that you know I want to call my Dad, then you'd better EARN the right to do that. 

Just like those creepy ads that come up when you're talking about something with a friend, like Starbucks and suddenly your sidebar has an ad for their new Mocha Coconut Fraps. (Gotta try that!) 

A few months back I got into a pretty hurtful fight with a friend of mine and it was both amusing and super sad when THIS came up: 

It was hilarious* to me that gchat could see through their creepy stalking of our conversations that my friend no longer wanted to be friends with me. Like, does EVERYONE see this except me?!

*if by hilarious we also mean, I can see the humor in it through the torrents of tears and hurt feelings. But yes... funny! In a way!!!!!

Anyway, I'd have a ton more respect if gchat had said:

Reminder: Call Dad and tell him you love him more than Mom. Then call Mom and tell her the opposite.

Reminder: Call Dad and then hang up right when he answers!

Reminder: Call Dad and make him admit that you're his favorite.*

Reminder: Call Dad and tell him you're pregnant.

Reminder: Call Dad and tell him you're pregnant but at least it's not his!**

*I know I am, I just like to hear it on occasion.***

**guffaw!!! so wrong, it's right, right?!

***all the time.

And I get it, I play into this whole technology sustains my life until I decide it's annoying thing. I mean, I'm attached my phone/computer all the time, looking for amusement and escapism:

So am I really that annoyed with gchat for suggesting I call my Dad? 

Well, yes. I AM. I think the real question is, is it fair to be annoyed with gchat for suggesting I call my Dad?

Is is REALLY any different than walking into a store, like Target, where they had all these Father's Day reminders and then before I checked out with $120 worth of stuff for myself, I saw a sign and thought, DUH! I should get my Dad a card.

(I really do love the card I found him)

Don't worry, I wrote in it.

And got him an actual gift, too!! I'm not a cheapie.

I mean, suggesting things to people and persuading them to buy a product or take an action (Click Here! Like Us on Facebook! Try It Now! Buy Buy Buy!) is what I DO. Every day. For a living.

And that just makes me a total hypocrite. But at least I'm a self AWARE hypocrite.

Happy Father's Day, everyone! (See what I did there? I forced you to have a happy Father's day!)